At work the other day, a cafeteria cashier was talking to a pregnant woman I work with who is just shy of her 21st birthday.

After they exchanged small talk about her growing belly, the nursery, what she was having and all the details, the cashier turned to me.

"It doesn't make sense that people like you who are settled and married have to try to have a baby, while I see pregnant teenagers everywhere who don't even want to have babies," she said bluntly, as I looked around to make sure no one heard her calling me out.

I was pretty surprised she would mention my babymaking plans, and what she said really hit me.

It actually doesn't make sense that some people appear to get pregnant in their sleep, while others struggle for years and through countless treatments and disappointments.

Recently, an acquaintance who is having trouble conceiving became visibly angry while going on about how people like Britney Spears can get pregnant without batting an eye, while people who she said deserve children can't have them so easily.

I understand the frustration of watching babies crop up everywhere but my own house, but I wouldn't suggest one person deserves a baby more than another.

Certainly people who work hard deserve rewards, but does that mean people who have good luck are unworthy?

I refuse to be bitter and jealous when it comes to other women getting pregnant. I have known women who are so resentful every time they see a baby belly, and I don't want to be angry every day of my life.

There are babies everywhere I turn and expectant moms waiting for the arrival of their first babies or the third member of their brood. It's just part of life, even if it's depressing.

It isn't easy at all to watch others get what I want so badly, and even harder when they seem oblivious to the idea that other people may not have the same fortune.

I realize that pregnancy is often not a blessing. For those who want it and can't get it, it hurts even more to watch unwanted or even surprise children pop up daily.

It also doesn't help to hear a recently pregnant friend gleefully say, "We weren't even trying," or hear women complain about getting pregnant so quickly.

It gets worse when the same women tell me, "Just relax," or, "Take extra vitamins." That helpful advice feels like pouring rubbing alcohol on a fresh cut.

But it's important to try to relate to them just as I would like them to try to understand my perspective. Because I'm actually happy for other people, not bitter or jealous.

When it gets me down that I don't have the chance -- yet -- to be a mother and experience all the joys and stressors that brings, I try to reflect on the many gifts in my life that I can soak up before the children come.

I have a great house filled with love, two dogs who are my "children" and a wonderful husband who makes me laugh. We can afford to go on big vacations each year and savor our time as a couple just by doing nothing at all, a situation that my friends with children often long for.

I may not get what it's like to be a "fertile Myrtle," but I don't dislike the women who do.

It may seem unfair that some get it on the first try, but it's just as unfair to hold it against them.

So the next time I feel a pang of envy when I hear someone's latest big announcement or another woman complain that she's too fertile for her own good, I'll have to congratulate her and get over it.

I'll be a mother one day, and I won't want anyone holding that against me. Laura Lewis Brown is an adventurous newlywed who has loved, lost and doesn't mind sharing. Her column appears every other Thursday.