I recently went on a mission to reclaim my party self. After finishing grad school and enduring a year without time for extracurricular activities, it was imperative to make up for lost time.
Between happy hour with girlfriends and ladies' night once a month with my football teammates, I am feeling like my old self again.
Unfortunately, I forgot to consult my fiance before I returned to the social sphere. A bit of a homebody himself, he had grown accustomed to having me around or too busy with work to let it all hang out.
Apparently, drinking with the girls is not becoming of a fiancee, let alone a wife. I have seen it happens with others but never thought I would be the one considering saying no to a night out or not being included on the guest list just because of my marital status.
At work, I watch as people have stopped asking a recently wed woman out for happy hour because she's married.
It's as if a band of gold means she no longer likes hanging out with friends or anyone other than the person snoring next to her in bed for the rest of time.
I know priorities change and marriage means thinking as a couple, not a single person, but I don't want marriage to be an excuse to drop out of the social circuit.
I want to be different; I want to hold onto my social life after my impending nuptials.
The experts -- already-married people -- say it can be done but it's not going to be easy. My mom says it's not that I can't go out, it's just that my spouse -- any spouse -- won't be too happy about it.
Unfortunately, that seems to be the case even before my wedding. Jack wants me to have a good time, but doesn't like when I come home too late or drink more than he thinks I should.
When I press my fiance on why he gives me such a hard time, he struggles to find a legitimate reason. He knows I'm not out scamming for guys or looking for my last flirtations before it's "too late."
But when he brings up accepting free drinks, I finally see his point. At least, part of it.
On girls' nights out, my friends have often
tried to score free drinks from the fellows. While this behavior outrages those who say it's unfair to the buyer and the truly available women, I have always seen it as harmless.
Should I ditch the nights out with my fun, single friends and stay at home to knit my hubby-to-be a sweater and drink the beer in the fridge?
Worse, should I take a nod from other couples who stick to the couple circuit, making girls' nights a rarity?
There is nothing wrong with staying home with my beloved; I do it more often than not. And going out with other couples is fun, too, just not all the time.
I have struggled to maintain my independence as my wedding approaches, but I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm not trying to show my fiance that he can't tell me what to do.
I'm just trying to be myself, because while I intend to embrace the shift in priorities my new last name may bring, I don't want to become a hermit to do it.
I'm not going to stop going out with my friends, because they keep me sane when dealing with wedding and fiance stress. They understand my life is about to change, and they don't want to lose me as much as I don't want to lose them.
With any romantic relationship, compromise is inevitable. Since my fiance is not up for being my party partner, I've decided to cut him a break. The next free drink that comes my way will find itself in the hands of my closest bachelorette friend.
If she wants to buy me one, however, I will gladly accept.
Laura Lewis is an adventurous 20-something who knows how to make the most of being single. Her column appears every other Thursday. 
