Looking for a way to dust off your relationship? Take it someplace dirty.

With a kitchen renovation under way, my husband Jack and I have been forced to toss a lot of the stuff that two packrats collect over the years.

We started in the basement, home to every object that doesn't have a natural place, an area I avoid as much as possible. Embarassingly, there are unopened wedding gifts down there, two years into our marriage.

Then there are the artifacts of Jack's bachelor days. A locked trunk of love letters, one Joe Camel director's chair, a plug-in crystal ball, random car parts and unopened household cleaners.

The stuff with my name on it could fill its very own junk store. Piles of clothes that I might wear some day fight for space among boxes of framed photos, unread books and tapes made to fit a VCR that isn't hooked up anymore.

With all of this in front of us, we began to select and toss -- not as easy as it sounds.

"What about this vase?" Jack asked me, pointing to a vase that hasn't seen daylight since I received it.

"No, no, my friend gave that to me," I said.
"But you've never used it. Can't we donate it?" he urged.
"Nope, what if he visits one day and it's not here?"
"Fine," he said, "but you definitely don't need this," pointing to various objects throughout the basement.

"Yes, I do," I responded repeatedly, wondering why exactly I care so deeply about holding onto any of it.

Then it was time for me to push Jack on some of his junk.

"What about this director's chair?"
"If you look closely, you'll see it has my name decaled on it," he defended. "I may need it someday."

And so the negotiations ensued as we tried to create future uses for stuff we've never used before. He blamed me for placing emotional value on objects, and I accused him of being too lazy to bother going through his stuff.

As the heat built and the spiders nipped at our ankles, we actually managed to build piles of junk that we agreed on. There were objects to trash, to donate and to save for further consideration.

Then it's dump time!

Growing up, I'd always heard about the dump and wondered what disgusting stuff one would find there. Would it be random body parts (like in the movies), neglected refrigerators and car parts like the ones we keep in the basement?

Sadly the "dump" near us is more of a mini dump, a drop-off station for the real dump. But the experience of throwing away broken basement inventory is no less freeing.

Launching a dirty carpet into the air I feel a quick release. When it misses its mark and tumbles out of the bin, I find my husband is there to help me free our lives from all the debris that we don't need.

And that's what cleaning house is all about -- working together to declutter and move on.

I always knew that throwing away extra items that clog up the house would be good for our home. Now I know it's also good for our relationship.

Laura Lewis is an adventurous newlywed who has loved, lost and doesn't mind sharing. Her column appears every other Thursday.