Last week, I had on my office television a morning news show that shall remain nameless, and the guest was one of the myriad skinny geeks who are forever trying to save us fat folk from ourselves with helpful hints.

HERE's a helpful hint: The next time a thin person offers you weight loss advice, jam a sock in his mouth and stuff him into the office Twinkie-vending machine.

I don't recall every morsel of wisdom imparted, but the one that seared itself into my brain involved using paper towels to blot grease off slices of pizza.

This is wrong and pathetic for a number of reasons. From a quality standpoint, if you eat your pizza properly hot like I do, that paper towel is going to end up with every bit of cheese and toppings stuck to it. Even if it doesn't, you're likely to end up with really tasty paper fibers on top of the pizza. Nothing brings out the taste of fresh mushrooms like a soupçon of Bounty.

Of course there's also the broader (pardon the pun) issue here: NONE of us are going to lose weight by blotting our pizza. We're going to lose weight by changing our behaviors and moving away from eating pizza ... at least on a regular basis. As I've soapboxed before, we are all allowed the occasional indulgence. Just make sure -- like I failed to do last week -- that it's OCCASIONAL. This does not mean you're gobbling down a pan crust Meat Lover's twice a week.

It's the oldest trick in the weight-loss biz: come up with a cheap and easy way to make us fat people FEEL like we're sacrificing, make us FEEL like we're giving up something, without actually MAKING us give up anything, and we'll make you rich.

Got a triumph or struggle to share? A topic you'd like to see covered? Just want to vent? Drop me a line anytime!