I've mentioned this in passing in previous columns, but it's time to get down to the nitty gritty at last: My weight loss progress has been stalled for the better part of a year. Since I crossed the 100-pound barrier, my motivation has been adrift. I've gone back and forth over the same 10 pounds so often I feel like each one has its own name and Myspace page.

I know all the right things to do. I know how to eat right and how to exercise, and I actually enjoy working out. However, my consistency has been horrible. I've hit the gym every day for a week, then gotten busy with writing projects, etc., and not gone for three weeks. On the eating side, I've let entertaining get the better of me, not doing a good job of getting rid of the leftovers and buying more snacks and goodies than my guests could ever possibly eat, thus guaranteeing the presence of "bad" chow in the house.

So, it's time to shake things up a bit.

It's been an open secret here for a while that I've been going to Weight Watchers meetings since my journey started. They are a wonderful source of support and encouragement, and while I haven't followed the eating plan, preferring to design my own, I've gained a great amount of knowledge and motivation from the meetings.

However, that support and encouragement has become the problem. I've been angry at myself for the failure to lose weight ... disgusted, even. Every week, when the scale showed another disappointment, I've wanted to go slam my head in a door or staple my lips shut. But then the meeting starts, and the good fellowship and "You'll do better next week" from all my pals gets me feeling better.

At this point, I need to not "feel better." I need to stay angry. I need to keep focused on the fact that I'm not making progress and I need to be as harsh on myself as necessary. Yes, I know, psychiatrists will tell you that this sort of self-flagellation isn't healthy, and maybe it wouldn't be if I did it for years. But that's not the plan.

I'm going to get mad, get back on track, and get started toward my goal again. I'm sure I'll be back to the meetings again someday ... Judy, Andrea and the whole crew there are too wonderful for me to ever walk away permanently.

You're going to see a different Diary in the coming months. It may not be as cute as it's been before, but it will be more real.

Also, the weight graph, which so many of you have asked about, is coming back. I'm going to start being more honest with myself ... and that means being more honest with all of you, too.

Got a question? Comment? Topic you'd like to see covered? Drop me a line, anytime!